The Meet Rack, 210 W. Drachman St., is a place everyone must see. It's one of those bars you want to check out - not for the alcohol - but for the experience. It was my first real sober experience at a bar, but to be honest I think I might've been a little scared being drunk there (at least without many guys I know surrounding me). 
Don't get me wrong, it was a great experience! The only thing is the place is in a bad neighborhood, and the environment is kinda--sleezy. What do I mean by sleezy? Get a tour from God (the previous owner of the bar--a man who legally changed his name from Jim to God) and you'll experience a fascinating point of view from this outrageously funny and unique man. You begin in the sex room filled with posters and sex machines. God walks you around every point of the room and explains the history and details of every piece of machinery. He even tells you the story of his two-time win in a masterbation contest.
After the room of promiscuity, he leads you to the women's bathroom. He demonstrates the little condom contraption. Inside the bathroom hangs a condom machine. When a person purchases a condom, the moment she walks out the door a loud bell sounds, signalling to the entire bar that this person is planning to get lucky.
Next stop in the tour - God's bedroom. A few minutes listening to God's view on life will bring laughter and cheer into your night. He tells of his single life, and how he enjoys it. The funniest quote of the night was when he talked about his freedom of doing what he wants. "It aint cheating; it's just a slice of the cake that no one misses," he said. I guess that's his theory on dating. It sounded funnier coming from him. He explained how he had the best set up anyone could ask for. He lived in the bar - a second away from all the women and alcohol he needs. that does sound like a pretty good set up. Along with the pornographic pictures on his walls, he had a mirror above his bed. Every man's dream.
The bar is decorated with photos of him and many other people, like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Elvis. Bras hang above the bar. The largest bra I've ever seen is signed with a heart and a woman's signature. Everything in the bar seems to follow the sexual scheme. Even the menu of drinks are all named with a sexual undertone, written on laminated cards that are held together by a metal ring. "Classy" is not a word to characterize the place, but "thrilling" definitely is.
Overall, the bar was an interesting experience. Even without a sip to drink, I left with some of the most unforgettable memories of my college experience. (For a little while I even got to experience God telling a story at the bar--drawing a picture on a yellow notepad explaining that your first 10 years are filled with drool, your last 10 years are filled with drool, and the hundreds of thousands of days in between should be filled with partying). It's one of those places everyone needs to see at least just once. It might not be your bar of choice for every weekend. However, it is a great place for birthday celebrations or an escape from the monotony of the same-ole scenery.
And for those who tend to do outrageous things when drunk, you can experience the infamous branding with God's face. What does it mean? You'll be marked for the rest of your life with a man with a beard. But it also means you'll get 50 cents off every drink at the Meet Rack for the rest of your life. You'll have a card marked with a number that IDs your branding. It's a story to tell your kids. Be sure to go to the Meet Rack and check out one of Tucson's craziest places. You'll leave with a the bar God's name marked on your arm (don't worry, a little scrubbing the next day can take it right off).
Check out what other people think about the Meet Rack:
Tucson Underground
Best of Tucson: 2003
Ten Ways to Shock Visiting Parents (Daily Wildcats)
Yelp.com
No comments:
Post a Comment